The life of Ponnu the Great is a legend of courage, dedication, love, optimism and devotion. It has been 5 years since she passed on but we miss her dearly every single day. Join me in sharing some of the most endearing moments, quotes, anecdotes and qualities of our beloved Amma/Ammuma.
Born to Kovappodi Venkitachalapathi and Paati Purnapushkalambal of Thotturmadam, Perumbavoor, Alamelu Ammal was a sharp and witty girl. She had some great times with sisters Mangalam, Meena, Sarasu, Seethai, Radhai and brothers Pachan, Ganapathi, Krishnan and all-time-favorite Raman. She was their Ponnu-ka and I loved to hear the stories of their balyakalam. I believe she attended school (up to 2nd grade) in Ganapathi School at Koovapodi (although she has on many occasions demonstrated the intelligence and business savvy of a Harvard graduate!). Theirs was a big family and often all the children were lying next to each other in a big hall (thereby originating the famous quote veragu adikkina mathiri kuttigal paduthindu irukka). The siblings shared a love for music and an undying devotion of Lord Krishna, They also used (or abused should I say) common terminology like Pavam for every other thing.
At the age of 13, Ponnu wed Nana and left her dear Perumbavoor to live in Perintalmanna, This was the beginning of a new era in her life. Can you imagine a 13 year old child taking up the responsibility of an entire household and wearing a madisaru podavai. Well, I am told she excelled in her house work and unrelenting devotion to Thatha. She was quite a tom boy herself and was once caught up on the top most branch of the jack fruit tree by father in law Kunjappa. Kunjappa chided her for her behavior and treated her as his own daughter. She had great respect for Kunjappa and served him with great care and tenderness till his end.
Ponnu and Nana were the adarsha dampathikal in their time and will continue to be in the times to come. I remember that at any wedding or asservatham session, couples were blessed to emulate the Ponnu-Nana partnership. She was quite a stunner, constantly craving for Thatha’s compliments and recognition, and he was the family’s sweetheart. Theirs was a sweet tale of romance and they fought against all odds (half a dozen sisters-in-law) to find quality time to share and express their love. If they ever fought, it was in private and they never aired their dirty laundry. Ammuma had a great love for perfumes, especially jasmine and chembakam and I vividly remember her spreading those flowers in Thatha’s and her bed. Ammuma and Thatha are known for their amorous escapades and I believe our dear Etchi Athai used to comment on how paavam Nana was and that Ponnu was always enticing him with her chandu pottu. Hmmmmmmm, heavenly…………..
She was also a cleanliness freak and always looked and smelled great for Thatha. I remember once she was in her yellow pattu pudavai with her signature velli chavi kothu and was awaiting Thatha’s compliment. For a wife who is a chatterbox, Thatha, as we know was a man of few (golden) words. He is told to have remarked, Ponnin kudathukku enthukku pottu. When was the last time we heard something like that from our significant others?
I think it is a universal fact that all Ammumas are good cooks, but ours was the greatest! She totally believed and practiced the axiom, “The way to a man’s heart is through the stomach” and constantly prepared dishes Thatha liked. Her estimates were accurate and the taste impeccable. She was renowned for making last minute adjustments (referred to as Mayam) and I believe I have inherited some of that. I feel great when Santu compares me to Ammuma when he says, “Ammuma mathiri etho mayam cherthiyirukkai”. The chakavarati will never taste perfect without her mayam (chagini), nor will the kadala curry taste good without her oru achu vellam. We will truly miss her parikkai pittila and vazhakkai puliyakuthi curry. Those are secret recipes and I shouldn’t be giving them all away.
Along with her wonderful kai-manam came her even more endearing trait-her hospitality. She had the huge heart to make anybody-be it a Hindi-speaking Kashmiri guy or a (boring) FACT friend at home. And she always, always had food in the house. Did I say always? Remember the famous Kapiya, mora, chapathiya, chadama quote? It baffles me how she did it, even in the days without refrigerators and in the days of power cuts, No one who came to Ambika Sadan went back hungry. I believe that is what people will remember her the most-her loving helping of achar, choru and curry. She was a revolutionist in her times-when the whole society was caste ridden, she always had her kitchen open to anybody from any walk of life, and we have to learn to follow her footsteps in her giving nature. She would christen Ramla to Radhai, Haneefa to Hari and so on and shower them with her maternal love.
Cook, ambassador and doctor, who can forget her otta-mooli for all maladies!
a) Ennai thetchu kuli
b) Morinchathathai chappudu
c) Thee mee nnu paduthu thoongu
Try this, and you will be amazed at the results!!!
Ponnu has seen a large share of tragedies in her life. The untimely demise of Anna and Papa scarred her unbearably and when she was just getting her life back together came the tragedy of Bamakutty. The loss of a child is agonizing to any mother but to lose 3 is disastrous. She was said to have turned almost suicidal and with constant Narayaneeyam sessions, she gradually pulled herself together. She saw happiness in her other children, Geetha, Achu, Chandri, Kannan, Rajan and late arrival Appukuttan. She is said to have been a strict disciplinarian and the kids were mostly scared of her and very obedient.
With the marriage of Geetha, and the losses owing from Land Reform Acts, Thatha was constrained to sell the Ambika Stores-the primary source of income for the family. They say that Necessity is the mother of invention and that was so true in her case. It is common knowledge in our family that Ammuma and Thatha made the first batch of the now world famous AMBIKA PALADA by hand and Thatha went to Trichur to try to sell it, From then on, there was no looking back. Ammuma immersed herself body and soul in improving, improvising the technology and standards of Ambika Cottage Industry. The founder of this great institution now offers a decent livelihood to over fifty employees in its 3-4 units. An entrepreneur with a great compassion for the labor class she excelled in getting work done-Isn’t that what management is all about! It used to unnerve me when she would plan for the next day’s breakfast while we had just had a heavy lunch. I would ask her, how she was able to do it-but that’s how great minds worked-Tomorrow’s program today!
She was always very supportive of all her children-praised Geetha for demonstrating leadership and responsibility-aval aanukku aanum ponnukku ponnum was her favorite quote; Achu for being knowledgeable of all household procedures and knowing her likes/dislikes, Chandrimani for her artistry and her obsession with best out of waste; Kannumani-her all time favorite to whom she always felt at home and who could never leave her-theirs was a symbiotic relationship; Rajan who’s jokes she adored and who’s stories she loved to hear even if it was 2:00 am when he returned from sales, and finally Appukuttan-who she considered to be a 5 year old till her very last-he was her baby and it was very hard for her to let go.
Although she professed to love all her children equally, she sometimes played favorites that angered and upset us many a time. But I would say that nature humanized her in a way and it is hard for me to hold that against her now. We love you unconditionally and I hope you knew that when you left us dear Ammuma.
The weddings of her children and the joys hers grandchildren brought to her life were phenomenal. She had great respect for her mappilais Krishnamoorthy athimber and Rangan athimber and often sought their professional advice for the expansion of the industry. She yearned for Achu’s child and when Chella kutty was born, she was undoubtedly, the rajakumari in the family. Anu and Akila had the fortune to be with her all the time, and Anju and she shared a special Swati-Swati bond. Navaneeth and Sanju were closer to her as she periodically stayed in Kunnappali, but Ammuma you were ABSOLUTELY THE BEST TO ME AND MADHU. Your thoppai was always the coolest-even the hottest of summers and just lying on your lap in the aatukattil is next to heavenly.
I believe the Santu-Mini match was the fulfillment of her long cherished desire and Ammuma, I cannot thank you enough for finding me the BEST partner in the whole wide world. I am so proud that you chose me for your dear Appukuttan and I promise you that I will take very good care of him. We are always striving to keep your traditional alive. Why, even Shruti kutty knows all your signature songs, Ambuja Balane, Unnthan Pollathanathai etc.
With the demise of Thatha in 1996, I can say that 80% of Ammuma demised. Having lost her life partner, friend, philosopher and guide of 60 odd years shook her pretty severely. She coiled into her shell and gradually, her health started deteriorating. She had been battling diabetes and poor vision for several years but her zest for life perished with the demise of Thatha. She felt lonely, moody, disillusioned and resigned and only had one prayer-to join him. She constantly prayed for her mukti and passed her days mechanically, listening to Narayaneeyam and other songs sung by KJJ.
I would say her last 2 years have been very painful for her-not merely from her illnesses but from her lack of will to live. I would say there was a slight change to that during our recent visit from the States, where she joined us once again for brief Anthakshari session and jokes. To us, it seemed like a miracle to see you walk and smile and crack jokes like the good old times. But little did we know that it was the brilliance of the lamp that was soon to fade out.
On September 18 2003s, at 3:00 pm you asked for water from your beloved Kannumani and peacefully left this abode to join our beloved Thatha. While your passing is going to be an unbearable loss to all of us, we surely do not want to be selfish in holding you on in this earth. I strongly believe that you have crossed over this world and are now with our dear Thatha. Together, the two of you will be our guardian angels. I think I can see you both smiling from above, thankful to be united at last.
Truly, Ammuma, you are the very best, and whatever we are today or accomplish in the future is solely due to your blessing and example. I can almost hear you saying, “Aarodu training” . Yes, you are my first guru and friend and we can join in our prayers for the mukti of your soul.
Janani Janmabhumischa Swargathapi Gariyassi!
