Mini's Musings

K.S. Chitra, Her Loss, Our Loss...

2011-04-14T15:59:00.004-04:00

The exhilaration of celebrating Vishu with the customary Kani, Kainettam, asirvadams, kodi (new clothes) and dozens of international phone calls came to a screeching halt when I heard the news of the tragic demise of Nandana, daughter of popular Indian singer, KS Chitra.

As I hung up the phone call from my little sister in New Jersey who broke the news to me, I felt myself sucked into a spiraling vortex of helplessness, and was sunk deep into the pith of a shocking abyss.

Chitra is the "nilavilakku" of a Malayali family, quoted Madhu Balakrishnan, another great singer during a show honoring Chitra's 30 years of music a month ago. Vivid mental imagery of that "nilavilakku" toppled over on a Vishu morning, turned the day of mirth to one of immense mourning.

I looked around for solace...I was all alone at home, and frantically tried to call up a few close friends to grieve...the pain of my own personal losses of my dear Daddy and grandparents overwhelmed me once again, sending chills all over.

Chitra (chechi) is a household name and she has been warmly welcomed into every music loving South Indian's living room and heart through the 1000s of songs that she has sung with impeccable perfection. Her face always brims with a genuine smile, uncanny humility, guruthwam par excellence and sans any iota of starry airs. As a judge for numerous music reality shows, she displayed compassion, encouragement and inspiration to not only the participants, but the viewers alike. She beamed whenever she spoke about her daughter and for a snap-second seemed to have a "perfect" life-till now.....I feel empty when I say that we can pray to God to give her strength...no words of consolation will mitigate such an irreparable loss, but empathy is all that we can afford to give now.

I hope and pray the media and public will let her family grieve in private and not stoop to sensationalize the tragedy for their own ratings' sake. I hope folks do not use this as a case to debate the challenges of a talented young lady pursuing a career, or dissect the fact that Nandana was child with special needs.

Time alone will perhaps one day heal the scars of this scathing wound and then there is one solace for the rest of us...we could grieve for Chitra's loss by listening to her....

Om Tat Sat.

What makes you happy?

2010-12-07T23:25:00.005-05:00

We bend head over heels to have a successful life in the hopes of having perpetual happiness. What are some things that makes you happy. Here's a modest list of what makes me happy..

1. Helping others: Especially when it is done with a loved one..it brings great joy to help someone with a kind gesture, time spent with them, especially, the elderly, or even as simple as sincere words of appreciation.
2. Feeling Needed: When I feel that my actions or words will have a positive impact on another life.
3. Spending quality time with family:
Oh, I love to snuggle and talk sweet nothings on the recliner with my family. They are the BEST!
4.Contentment: Having an honest idea of one's strengths and weaknesses, and not being unreasonable in comparing one's life with others.
5. Family: Maintaining the strong family ties no matter what.
6. Not sweating the small stuff: Easier said that done, somethings are not worth the attention to detail
7. Not always worrying about what others think:
Also an acquired quality, never let others decide what makes you happy, take care of yourself.

http://www.trackthetime.com/fun/story-of-the-mexican-fisherman

Would love to hear from you!!

Forever Yours and Yours forever...

2009-11-18T14:54:00.002-05:00

You and I, we go back a long way...
I have tried other relationships, but keep coming back to you...
And why?
Because you never change..
You just keep getting better each time.
Your warmth, your spice, you are one of a kind
The anticipation of being with you..
Sure sends a quiver down my spine..
You invigorate me every time we are together.

When I am blue, you give me a lift..
When I am lonely, your company sends a blanket of security..
when I am in a mood to party, you take center stage and pass the mirth..
What would I do without you...
My precious cup of TEA?
So, I raise a toast..
To Us....

PS: Tetley Tea is the BEST!!

2 must hear songs...

2009-04-21T17:23:00.019-04:00

(1) Ilayaraja and Madhu Balakrishnan have given us a taste of their best in the song Pichai patiram from movie Naan Kadavul...The song penned (and sung) by the Maestro himself originally appeared in the album Ramana Malai. The philosophies of Ramana Maharshi and the Vedantic themes of rebirth, karma, and advaita are brimming in this masterpiece. Please listen actively and melt away in the depth of the lyrics. Hope to read your discussions. I have copied the lyrics and translation for your convenience.

Madhu Balakrishnan should win a National Award for the soulful rendition..

Lyrics by Ilaiyaraja…penned originally for Ramana Malai

Pichai Paathiram Yenthi Vanthen, Aiyane En Aiyane

Yaam Oru, Pichai Paathiram Yenthi Vanthen,Aiyane En Aiyane

Pindam Ennum, Elumbodu Sadhai Narambu

Udhiramum Adangiya Udambu Enum

Ammaiyum Appanum Thanthatha

Illai Aadhiyin Val Vinai Soozhnthatha

Immaiyai Naan Ariyathatha

Siru Bommaiyin Nilayinil Unmaiyai Unarnthida

Pichai Paathiram Yenthi Vanthen

Athanai Selvamum Un Idathil

Naan Pichaikku Selvathu Evv Vidathil

Verum Paathiram Ullathu En Idathil

Athan Soothiramo Athu Un Idathil

Oru Muraiya Iru Muraiya

Pala Murai Pala Pirappu Edukka Vaithai

Puthu Vinaya Pazha Vinaya,

Kanam Kanam Dinam Enai Thudikka Vaithai

Porullukku Alainthidum Porullattra Vazhkaiyum Thurathuthe

Un Arul Arul Arul Endru Alaikindra Manam Indru Pithatruthe

Arul Vizhiyal Nokkuvai

Malar Pathathal Thaanguvai

Un Thiru Karam Enai Aravanaithu Unatharul Pera

Pichai Paathiram Yenthi Vanthen

Translation from unknown source..

I came holding the beggar's bowl...

A bowl made of flesh, bones, blood and nerves called the body.

I came holding the beggar's bowl...

Did my mom and dad gift me with this bowl?

Or is it the product of my past misdeeds?

Clueless on the current birth, in I came like a puppet...

Holding the beggar's bowl...

You own all the riches and I know not where to beg...

I just have the bowl and only you know all its secrets.

Not just once, not just twice...

Many a times, in many forms,

You made me take innumerous births

A consequence of my present misdeeds ,Or the past...

You made me suffer every moment I lived...

The meaningless life in search of riches is haunting me...

The mind that begs for your grace is now being senseless...

Look at me with the gracious eyes,

Carry me with those velvet feet

To get your care and then your grace...

(2) Ethilum Ingu Iruppan Another song that appeared few years ago also has the Ilayaraja-Madhu Balakrishnan combo, the lyrics however are penned by Pulamaipithan. The poet really has a way with words and (surprising) coming from an athiest, this song has a very simple yet profound message that He is everywhere and there is nothing but Him.

Movie Name: Bharati (2000)
Singer: Madhu Balakrishnan
Music Director: Ilayaraja
Lyrics: Pulamaipithan

Ethilum ingu iruppAn avan yArO
EnakkuL avan iruppAn arivArO
Thavazhum nadhiyai tharitha mudiyAn
Adiyum mudiyum aRiya mudiyAn
ELiya adiyar Odhum vEdha nAdhamAgi
(Ethilum)

Varippuli athazh tharithavan ezhil kaNdEn
PiRappenum piNi aRuppavan thuNai KoNden
Tamizhkkavi tharum enakkoru varam
Tarath thiruvuLam veNdum
Sagathirukkenai tarath thagum neRi
Vaguthida thuNai veNdum.
Aalam karu neelam ena theriyum oru kaNtan
ANdum thiruth thoNdan enum adiyAk koru thoNdan
Pattruth thaLaikku neruppavan
Ottraik kaNathil azhippavan
Nettrip piRaikkuL neruppai vaLarthu
(Ethilum)

Thodakkamum adhan adakkamum avan vElai
Nadappadhum adhai thaduppadhum avan leelai
UdukkaLil saram thodutthavan thalai mudikkaNiyavum koodum
Perukkalum adhai vagutthalum adhai kazhitthalum avan pAdam
Marum yugam dhorum avan kaNakkin padiyAgum
MaNNum uyar viNNum avan oru kaippidiyAgum
Sattam anaithum vagutthavan
Thittam anaithum thogutthavan
Ottrap padithu muditha uruthan
(Ethilum)

Valentine Special-Share your songs of love..

2009-02-10T14:33:00.018-05:00

Yours songs and dedications this Valentine's Day..Songs that tenderly touch a raw nerve ...puts you in the mood for love...lingers on for the whole day...casts a spell on you..and keeps you yearning for more...Our South Indian cine music has thousands of such songs..

Share YOUR favorite songs of love (3-4) this Valentine's Day and tell us why you are bewitched by them...Happy Valentine's Day!

Valayosai Movie-Sathya Music-Ilayaraja Singers-SPB, Lata M
This song captures the thrills and adrenalin rushes of love..superb picturization..honest and eloquent..has a new freshness to it even if you hear it a hundred times...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h-dqX6Fggqk&feature=channel_page
Azhage Azhagu Movie-Raaja Parvai Music-Ilayaraja Singer-KJJ
Awesome combination of sangeetam and sahityam..not to mention flawless acting by Kamal and Madhavi..true testament to the axiom, "Love is Blind"..because the interpretation are infinite if you are blind...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0IDGR9XD6jM
S/Jathi Malli Poocharame Movie-Azhagan Music-Maragathamani Singer: SPB
King of handsome and Queen of beauty unite in this classic song from the movie aptly titled Azhagan. Isn't life and everything around you so beautiful when you are in love? Who said red is the color of love..after seeing the picturization of this song, I would say the new color of love is WHITE :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fpmj4GejQ0w
Ayengar Veetu Azhagae Movie-Anniyan Music- Harris Jayaraj- Singers: Hariharan, Harini
Brilliance of Hariharan and Harini and their impeccable expressions gives this song a big thumbs up. Though the lyrical quality is not stellar, fusion by Harris Jayaraj makes this a winner!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pX7OMsrIOko
Nilave Mugam Kaatu Movie-Yejaman Music-Ilayaraja Singers: SPB, S. Janaki
If you are lucky to find true love, then your lover is your friend, mother, sibling, child and guide. Ilayaraja teams with SPB and Janaki amma to give us this gem of a song...head over heels in love with this one!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ROrcvK2S98
Chentarmizhi Poonthenmozhi-Movie-Perummazhakalam Music-M. Jayachandran- Singers: Madhu Balakrishnan, K.S. Chitra
Madhu Balakrishnan is a singer to watch out for..He has taken this sensual Sahana piece to great heights. (Also loved his rendition of Ethilum Ingu Iruppan from the movie Bharati...you must hear that..but I digress...)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fcgk6ctUpAo
Sundari Neeyum Movie-Michael..Rajan Music-Ilayaraja Singers: Kamal, S. Janaki
Often termed as "our song" Santu and I never get enough of this one...has all the charms, naughtiness and cute wonder of a typical Palakkad Iyer pair in love...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zed9Kve-b6I&feature=related

(For my selected list of 38 songs visit:
http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=DB18A4EFC506B8F7)

Small things, big uses!

2009-01-09T15:30:00.009-05:00

I have always been intrigued by the unconventional uses of things around the house. Some I picked up from useless reading and chit-chats with friends, others from my own experience..Please add your contributions too!

1) Sesame/Gingely Oil (Nallennai):
First thing in the morning, before brushing your teeth, gargle your mouth thoroughly (at least 5 minutes) with 2 tablespoons of sesame oil.(Do not swallow!) Spit it out and all the microbe infested goo gets out of your mouth! Then brush as usual!

2) Baking Soda/Peroxide toothpaste:
Speaking of brushing your teeth, you can put your toothpaste to other uses!
a) Brush your finger nails with it to give a manicured polished look! b) Spread abundantly on silver lamps/utensils and work it to a good lather with a sponge and water..Silver gets cleaned wonderfully!
c) To give your stainless steel sink a polished look, scrub it with some toothpaste!
d) To clean music/data CDs that skip, use a small amount of toothpaste on a piece of terry cloth and buff the CD.

3) (Unglazed) Ceramic/teracotta plates:
These are the inexpensive (unglazed and unpainted) plates you normally use under garden pots.
a) Heat a clean plate in your convection oven to 450 deg F. Now you can prepare tandoor style rotis and naans over this hot-tandoor home-made oven! (courtesy Manjula's Kitchen)
b) The plates can also be used in the microwave to roast peanuts, cashews, chana dal ect (remember, no oil needed!) It is ergonomic and healthy!(courtesy Chandri Chitti)

4) Newsprint:
a) Damp newsprint cleans glass doors and window panes wonderfully!
b) If your hubby is like mine who buys fruits in wholesale quantities, wrap the unused fruits in the newspaper and store in the refrigerator. They will not over ripe or rot for at least a week.(courtesy Achu Mama)

5) Pesky Sticker removal:
Do you have brand new (stainless steel) utensils or pressure cookers that have those pesky stickers that never peel off? Warm the vessel gently on the stove. The glue will loosen up and you can peel it easily.(courtesy my friend, Subha)

6) Carpet Grippers:
Cut out a 5 inch by 5 inch piece of carpet gripper and use it to open jelly bottles, pickle bottles with ease!

7) Gallon-Bells:
For a low-budget workout, fill up 2 gallon jugs with water, and use as a pair of dumbells.

Punnu the Great!

2008-06-27T12:52:00.001-04:00

The life of Ponnu the Great is a legend of courage, dedication, love, optimism and devotion. It has been 5 years since she passed on but we miss her dearly every single day. Join me in sharing some of the most endearing moments, quotes, anecdotes and qualities of our beloved Amma/Ammuma.

Born to Kovappodi Venkitachalapathi and Paati Purnapushkalambal of Thotturmadam, Perumbavoor, Alamelu Ammal was a sharp and witty girl. She had some great times with sisters Mangalam, Meena, Sarasu, Seethai, Radhai and brothers Pachan, Ganapathi, Krishnan and all-time-favorite Raman. She was their Ponnu-ka and I loved to hear the stories of their balyakalam. I believe she attended school (up to 2nd grade) in Ganapathi School at Koovapodi (although she has on many occasions demonstrated the intelligence and business savvy of a Harvard graduate!). Theirs was a big family and often all the children were lying next to each other in a big hall (thereby originating the famous quote veragu adikkina mathiri kuttigal paduthindu irukka). The siblings shared a love for music and an undying devotion of Lord Krishna, They also used (or abused should I say) common terminology like Pavam for every other thing.

At the age of 13, Ponnu wed Nana and left her dear Perumbavoor to live in Perintalmanna, This was the beginning of a new era in her life. Can you imagine a 13 year old child taking up the responsibility of an entire household and wearing a madisaru podavai. Well, I am told she excelled in her house work and unrelenting devotion to Thatha. She was quite a tom boy herself and was once caught up on the top most branch of the jack fruit tree by father in law Kunjappa. Kunjappa chided her for her behavior and treated her as his own daughter. She had great respect for Kunjappa and served him with great care and tenderness till his end.

Ponnu and Nana were the adarsha dampathikal in their time and will continue to be in the times to come. I remember that at any wedding or asservatham session, couples were blessed to emulate the Ponnu-Nana partnership. She was quite a stunner, constantly craving for Thatha’s compliments and recognition, and he was the family’s sweetheart. Theirs was a sweet tale of romance and they fought against all odds (half a dozen sisters-in-law) to find quality time to share and express their love. If they ever fought, it was in private and they never aired their dirty laundry. Ammuma had a great love for perfumes, especially jasmine and chembakam and I vividly remember her spreading those flowers in Thatha’s and her bed. Ammuma and Thatha are known for their amorous escapades and I believe our dear Etchi Athai used to comment on how paavam Nana was and that Ponnu was always enticing him with her chandu pottu. Hmmmmmmm, heavenly…………..

She was also a cleanliness freak and always looked and smelled great for Thatha. I remember once she was in her yellow pattu pudavai with her signature velli chavi kothu and was awaiting Thatha’s compliment. For a wife who is a chatterbox, Thatha, as we know was a man of few (golden) words. He is told to have remarked, Ponnin kudathukku enthukku pottu. When was the last time we heard something like that from our significant others?

I think it is a universal fact that all Ammumas are good cooks, but ours was the greatest! She totally believed and practiced the axiom, “The way to a man’s heart is through the stomach” and constantly prepared dishes Thatha liked. Her estimates were accurate and the taste impeccable. She was renowned for making last minute adjustments (referred to as Mayam) and I believe I have inherited some of that. I feel great when Santu compares me to Ammuma when he says, “Ammuma mathiri etho mayam cherthiyirukkai”. The chakavarati will never taste perfect without her mayam (chagini), nor will the kadala curry taste good without her oru achu vellam. We will truly miss her parikkai pittila and vazhakkai puliyakuthi curry. Those are secret recipes and I shouldn’t be giving them all away.

Along with her wonderful kai-manam came her even more endearing trait-her hospitality. She had the huge heart to make anybody-be it a Hindi-speaking Kashmiri guy or a (boring) FACT friend at home. And she always, always had food in the house. Did I say always? Remember the famous Kapiya, mora, chapathiya, chadama quote? It baffles me how she did it, even in the days without refrigerators and in the days of power cuts, No one who came to Ambika Sadan went back hungry. I believe that is what people will remember her the most-her loving helping of achar, choru and curry. She was a revolutionist in her times-when the whole society was caste ridden, she always had her kitchen open to anybody from any walk of life, and we have to learn to follow her footsteps in her giving nature. She would christen Ramla to Radhai, Haneefa to Hari and so on and shower them with her maternal love.

Cook, ambassador and doctor, who can forget her otta-mooli for all maladies!
a) Ennai thetchu kuli
b) Morinchathathai chappudu
c) Thee mee nnu paduthu thoongu
Try this, and you will be amazed at the results!!!

Ponnu has seen a large share of tragedies in her life. The untimely demise of Anna and Papa scarred her unbearably and when she was just getting her life back together came the tragedy of Bamakutty. The loss of a child is agonizing to any mother but to lose 3 is disastrous. She was said to have turned almost suicidal and with constant Narayaneeyam sessions, she gradually pulled herself together. She saw happiness in her other children, Geetha, Achu, Chandri, Kannan, Rajan and late arrival Appukuttan. She is said to have been a strict disciplinarian and the kids were mostly scared of her and very obedient.

With the marriage of Geetha, and the losses owing from Land Reform Acts, Thatha was constrained to sell the Ambika Stores-the primary source of income for the family. They say that Necessity is the mother of invention and that was so true in her case. It is common knowledge in our family that Ammuma and Thatha made the first batch of the now world famous AMBIKA PALADA by hand and Thatha went to Trichur to try to sell it, From then on, there was no looking back. Ammuma immersed herself body and soul in improving, improvising the technology and standards of Ambika Cottage Industry. The founder of this great institution now offers a decent livelihood to over fifty employees in its 3-4 units. An entrepreneur with a great compassion for the labor class she excelled in getting work done-Isn’t that what management is all about! It used to unnerve me when she would plan for the next day’s breakfast while we had just had a heavy lunch. I would ask her, how she was able to do it-but that’s how great minds worked-Tomorrow’s program today!

She was always very supportive of all her children-praised Geetha for demonstrating leadership and responsibility-aval aanukku aanum ponnukku ponnum was her favorite quote; Achu for being knowledgeable of all household procedures and knowing her likes/dislikes, Chandrimani for her artistry and her obsession with best out of waste; Kannumani-her all time favorite to whom she always felt at home and who could never leave her-theirs was a symbiotic relationship; Rajan who’s jokes she adored and who’s stories she loved to hear even if it was 2:00 am when he returned from sales, and finally Appukuttan-who she considered to be a 5 year old till her very last-he was her baby and it was very hard for her to let go.

Although she professed to love all her children equally, she sometimes played favorites that angered and upset us many a time. But I would say that nature humanized her in a way and it is hard for me to hold that against her now. We love you unconditionally and I hope you knew that when you left us dear Ammuma.

The weddings of her children and the joys hers grandchildren brought to her life were phenomenal. She had great respect for her mappilais Krishnamoorthy athimber and Rangan athimber and often sought their professional advice for the expansion of the industry. She yearned for Achu’s child and when Chella kutty was born, she was undoubtedly, the rajakumari in the family. Anu and Akila had the fortune to be with her all the time, and Anju and she shared a special Swati-Swati bond. Navaneeth and Sanju were closer to her as she periodically stayed in Kunnappali, but Ammuma you were ABSOLUTELY THE BEST TO ME AND MADHU. Your thoppai was always the coolest-even the hottest of summers and just lying on your lap in the aatukattil is next to heavenly.

I believe the Santu-Mini match was the fulfillment of her long cherished desire and Ammuma, I cannot thank you enough for finding me the BEST partner in the whole wide world. I am so proud that you chose me for your dear Appukuttan and I promise you that I will take very good care of him. We are always striving to keep your traditional alive. Why, even Shruti kutty knows all your signature songs, Ambuja Balane, Unnthan Pollathanathai etc.

With the demise of Thatha in 1996, I can say that 80% of Ammuma demised. Having lost her life partner, friend, philosopher and guide of 60 odd years shook her pretty severely. She coiled into her shell and gradually, her health started deteriorating. She had been battling diabetes and poor vision for several years but her zest for life perished with the demise of Thatha. She felt lonely, moody, disillusioned and resigned and only had one prayer-to join him. She constantly prayed for her mukti and passed her days mechanically, listening to Narayaneeyam and other songs sung by KJJ.

I would say her last 2 years have been very painful for her-not merely from her illnesses but from her lack of will to live. I would say there was a slight change to that during our recent visit from the States, where she joined us once again for brief Anthakshari session and jokes. To us, it seemed like a miracle to see you walk and smile and crack jokes like the good old times. But little did we know that it was the brilliance of the lamp that was soon to fade out.

On September 18 2003s, at 3:00 pm you asked for water from your beloved Kannumani and peacefully left this abode to join our beloved Thatha. While your passing is going to be an unbearable loss to all of us, we surely do not want to be selfish in holding you on in this earth. I strongly believe that you have crossed over this world and are now with our dear Thatha. Together, the two of you will be our guardian angels. I think I can see you both smiling from above, thankful to be united at last.

Truly, Ammuma, you are the very best, and whatever we are today or accomplish in the future is solely due to your blessing and example. I can almost hear you saying, “Aarodu training” . Yes, you are my first guru and friend and we can join in our prayers for the mukti of your soul.

Janani Janmabhumischa Swargathapi Gariyassi!

Miss you

2007-05-28T14:05:00.002-04:00

6:30 am: a warm, chubby and cozy hand hugs me tight..I sleepily turn around..Kunju has sneaked into our room and is getting her "5 more minutes"
7:15 am: Kunju is waiting for the school bus, blissfully humming "Bhavayami Raghuramam"
7:30 am: Chai with Santuma in the recliner catching the morning news (Chai tastes extra great because he made it )
7:45 am: Tour of the garden ...4-5 pink peonies are in bloom, 4 buds on the red rose, a few day lillies, and (still) no activity on the dahlias. The lawn was nicely mowed last evening..it has been a week without rain and I wish for some...
8:00 am: Miraculously, a brief, light shower, that was equivalent to 2 hours of watering using the sprinkler. The lawn looks rejuvenated instantaneously. The Sun creeps out again causing the leaf blades to glitter like diamonds...I go to the patio to sit outside..the cushions are wet on my lungi. I don't mind...2 red birds are chasing each other...another chanaka pakshi is stealing our pine straw mulch for its nest...
Life is good, I miss you, wish you could be here to share this morning with me...
9:00 am: Check emails and have Cereal/Fruit with Santuma, he gives me his usual lecture of the chores he wants me to do by the time he is back (go to bank, get the car registration renewed, put the photos in the album etc)..I just smile..poor thing cannot help being jealous at my freedom...
9:15 am: I rummage the fridge and mix up a yogurt, rice flour and kasturi manjal face mask and head upstairs...A huge heap of laundry snarls at me saying FOLD ME.
I sigh, did I say I miss you, Mom?

Pranams Mama Thatha...your legacy continues forever

2007-02-04T22:43:00.001-05:00

Chellappa Mama, Mama Thatha, Chellapa anna, Mamaji, Subbaraman Iyer...the salutations are many but the vivid memories that flood your mind are quite similar...royal hospitality in aptly named Snehanilayam; genuine tender, loving, care; juicy nadan mambazham; crisp kadugu mangai; an idyllic wonderland at Parli; picnics at the Bharatapuzha; priceless lessons in pottery; photography sessions; homemade honey; and interesting tales of India's freedom struggle...

Mama Thatha (1914-2007) was the karanavar of the Aiylam clan and to be even remotely associated with this legendary swanthantra senani and philantrophist is a great compliment. Join me in sharing your memories and paying our respects to this outstanding human being...This is an attempt to celebrate his remarkable life than one to mourn his demise...for as far as I am concerned, his legacy of love, steadfastness, perseverance, simplicity, childlike charm, humor and service will live forever....

My earliest memory of Mama thatha is when I was 6 years old...my Dad had a tooth extraction (the quack of the dentist had yanked the wrong tooth out!) and Mama thatha paid us a visit..He was so enraged that his beloved Rangan was in so much pain and wanted to put the dentist in jail. He was furious and almost in tears to see my Dad suffer...You could gauge his love, his passion for his family by seeing how it affected him...he knew quite well that he could not share the pain but pampered my Dad with affection and stayed up with him the whole night to help him recover--isn't that what empathy is all about?

My Dad and Mama thatha-they admired each other..Dad called him Mamaji and Mama Thatha called him Marumanji...Mamaji was always hurt by Marumanji's smoking habit and would chide him for that and my Dad would always try to win him over with flattery and charming marketing skills (courtesy of 35 years' service with Hindustan Levers). They shared a rare gift of humor that knew no bounds of age....

Every summer vacation, we made it a point to visit Mama Thatha and Mami in Parli...Parli is a piece of heaven on earth...At Snehanilayam their wonderful home everyone was always welcome..City bred kids as we were, my brother Madhu and I had a whale of a time bathing in Bharatapuzha, and lazying the entire afternoon in the swings Mama made for us in the jack fruit trees. Nothing was a simple affair when Mama Thatha was around..he had a passion about everything..he would collect the best juicy nadan mambazham, and invite us to a contest...he had perfected the technique of getting the best out of every single fruit..I remember his words very vividly.."You should inspect the fruit very well and make sure that it has no insect bites..then, gently press all around the mango, so the juice loosens up little by little....then make a tiny hole with a safely pin and slowly suck up all the juice..be sure not to spill anything on your shirt or waste the pulp...keep doing this till the fruit almost dries out..then carefully pile the mango seeds in the newspaper (no littering allowed) and feed them to the cows..."...Mama Thatha was a born teacher.....he could impress his audience, teach them lessons that lasted a lifetime without raising a voice or making a fuss....he always spoke slowly but surely, softly yet assertively and always commanded everyone's attention and respect.

He let us get our hands dirty with potter's clay and strove to keep alive the skills of the great pottery artisans...He had a great collection of pottery from all over India in his prize museum in the upper level of Snehanilayam and his eyes always gleamed with pride when he took us there.

Whenever Mama Thatha visited us, he had an addage that always accompanied him-his camera. He was very passionate about photography and some of our best pictures are those that Mama Thatha shot..I vividly remember one of Madhu when he was holding a pot of grapes with his signature biting of the tongue...

Last year (July 2006), when we made a trip to India, we visited him...It crushed me to see him all under covers in his bed...a seemingly fragile stature wrapped under layers of blankets...I thought to myself, "God, I knew he was not keeping good health..but I did not expect him to be so weak"...Boy was I wrong!! He gently sat upright and excused his poor eyesight...We introduced ourselves... he immediately recongnized my Mom and said, "Gita, how is your factory in Kunnapally? Are you visiting the Anakatti ashramam? How is your study of Gita going on?"...He was a man who survived a massive stroke, was on a ventillator for more than a month, and the first words that comes out of his mouth are enquires about our welfare...

My Mom was tongue tied with emotion and later thanked him for gifting her the Bhagavat Gita 30 years ago..ever since Dad passed on, she has found solace and meaning to her life with rigourous study of Vedanta and the Gita, a gift she owes to Mama Thatha...

He kept referring to me as Meera. I told him, I am Meena not Meera...I knew he was trying hard to remember...the last time I saw him was 4 years ago when he suffered the massive stroke he was in a coma and I thought I would never see him again..It was a great blessing to see him alive and I had no expectations that he would recognize me..He continued to call me Meera and enquired about my imminent wedding..I am sure he had me confused with Jayaraman uncle's daughter and I did not want to correct him as I knew that was very painful for him..I played along...and suddenly he got it! "Meena, sing me that song....I have it in tape...Meenakshi, bring me the cassette that has her song!" he commanded to Mami...I was dumb founded...More than 25 years ago, I had sung a song swapnangal okkeyum pangu vekkam and Mama Thatha had recorded it...he embarrased me everytime I visited him by making us hear the recording (those of you who know me know how lousy a singer I am!)...Now, at age 90 he remembered my song and I was dumb struck..His vision may have weakened but his hearing was great and I sang the song for him and he joined me..Suddenly all the memories flodded back to him ...he knew I was Meena not Meera and enquired about Santu and USA.

When I mentioned Cincinnatti and Rajamani mama his eyes gleamed with excitement and passion. He wanted to hear all about his beloved brother Rajamani and enquired about Gigi aunty and their daughters...My Chithapa (TRK) was taking pictures of him as we were chatting and he cautioned him, "please tell me when you are taking my picture, so I can keep my eyes open..I also want a copy in a passport size so I can renew my railway pass"...."Mama!" we argued..."You are not travelling by train in this health condition" we cautioned and he laughed at us.."Venketesh will renew my train pass..I have told him...". He was so facinated by the handycam and wanted to know if it will record audio and video...a true Gandhian as he was in many aspects of his life...when it came to photography equipment he was willing to bend the swadesi rule!

He was his good old self..cracking jokes, enquiring about all our relatives and telling us that his long term memory was very intact..he just had trouble with short term memory...trust me...his memory far surpassed all the 30 year olds that I know of! He enquired about Madhu and Chindu..I told him that Chindu would quote his fatulance axioms although he did not understand one bit of him...He laughed heartily....It is so vivid in my mind...a good soulful, hearty laugh and he recited him fatulance verse:

Bhim Bhim parimanam nasti
Gas bis maha ghoram
Nishabdam pranasangadam

We were laughing and crying and hugging and shaking our heads in disbelief....here we come to pay our respects to a great man in the dusk of his life knowing quite well that it may be the last time we see him alive and he takes center stage and entertains all of us!

He chided us for the short visit and wanted us to stay with him so that we could be a help to Mami.."Meenakshi can use your help..you are just paying a visit and running away...I want you to stay and help Meenakshi like Ramani and Sudha did"...We felt so guilty, yet selfish in our own way had to convice him that we had to leave that evening...he did not press us further, but we could tell that he was hurt that we had to leave that night...he blessed us with his signature asirvatham dakshani and I treasure with all my heart. He kept on praising Mami for all her hard work and posed for many pictures with his hands proudly around her shoulder..Mami, you are the epitome of seva and love for a spouse...you have proved to be a great example for marital partnership, for your unquestioning and undemanding love and respect for Mama Thatha is sickeness and health, wealth and poverty, happiness and sorrow....as true as the Gandhi-Kasturiba partnership...we salute you for that!

He walked all the way to the front door to bid us goodbye and insisted that he accompany us to the gate..we protested strongly and left with a heart heavy with emotion-mixed with happiness, sorrow, loss, pain, gain all in one-a real avial of emotions!

On January 30 (coincidently Gandhi Samadhi Anniversary) I received a call from Mom saying that our beloved Mama Thatha had passed on....A true Gandhian as he was, his illustrious life will always be a guiding light to all that have associated with him...Pranams Mama Thatha....we will love you forever!

I want to take this opportunity to acknowledge and thank the relentless and selfless service of Velayudhan, his beloved caretaker who loved Mama Thatha dearly and took care of all his needs post his massive stroke 3 years ago...Mama Thatha was a stauch believer in equality and love for all and upliftment of Harijans. I would like to conclude with the very famous bhajan Vaishnava Janato that is essentially the theme of Mama Thatha's life..

वैष्णव जन तो तेने कहिये जे पीड पराई जाणे रे,पर दु:खे उपकार करे तोये मन अभिमान न आणे रे,सकल लोकमां सहुने वंदे निंदा न करे केनी रे,वाच काछ मन निश्चल राखे धन धन जननी तेनी रे,समदृष्टि ने तृष्णा त्यागी, परस्त्री जेने मात रे,जिह्वा थकी असत्य न बोले, परधन नव झाले हाथ रे,मोह माया व्यापे नहि जेने, दृढ़ वैराग्य जेना मनमां रे,रामनाम सुताली लागी, सकल तीरथ तेना तनमां रे,वणलॊभी ने कपटरहित जे, काम क्रोध निवार्या रे,भणे नरसैयॊ तेनु दरसन करतां, कुण एकोतेर तार्या रे ॥

Please also read Ramani Chithapa's write up on Mama Thatha's illustrious life.

Article in The Hindu about Mama Thatha

Please post your memories of Chellapa Mama in this site by adding your comments so we can keep his legacy alive through the blogsphere...

Spring is here!

2006-05-15T11:12:00.000-04:00

Hello friends...I just feel wonderful and would like to spill over some of the mirth...Spring is finally here..nice bursts of rain..green lawns and spectacular blooms...I have finished all my duties for the semester and have a nice long 3 month break!
Plan to go to India in June..but right now, I am spending a lot of time gardening and experimenting new recipes...Wish I could share some dishes with you..but until technology advances that much..here are some blooms for you to enjoy!Take care!

Valentine Special

2006-02-14T12:58:00.001-05:00

Wish you all a melodious and musical Valentine's Day. What better occasion than this to talk about the songs you love, the songs that bring love to your lives, the songs that make you fantasize about the one you love....So, here's your chance.....

List your favorite love songs (3-5) and tell us WHY the songs you picked appeal to you in a special way. If possible give us a link to those songs....

Here's my list..

1) Arikil Nee Undayirunnenkil [ Lyrics ]
Language: Malayalam
Film: Nee Ethra Dhanya
Singer : Yesudas K J

Why I like it: When you are in love, even a minute's separation from your beloved is painful...Santu and I have been married for 11 years now and have been together almost every waking moment ....however, in 2001 (we were in Indiana) he got a job offer in NC and it was too good an offer to turn down. I was still attending school in Indiana and had another year to finish my Masters. So, he left for NC and I stayed in Indiana with Shruti...That was the hardest time in our life...I missed him so unbearably..Virah is so painful..sometimes painfully sweet...When you miss someone you then begin to fantasize about the things you could do if you were together...your imagination runs wild and you are in your own dreamworld... the milan afterwards is so beautiful..This song has captured these sentiments beautifully.

2) Athisaya Raagam [ Lyrics ]
Language: Tamil
Film: Apoorva Raagangal
Singer : Yesudas K J

Why I like it: What gives a girl more happiness and thrill than to hear her beloved sing to her? Especially if it is a song that flatters her and compliments her looks? Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder and when you are in love, your lover is the most beautiful person in the world. Santu sings this song so well, and looks at me in a very special way each time he sings this...Thanks to poet Kannadasan's eloquence, MSV's musical genius and KJJ's awesome (original) rendition, folks like me can live vicariously and find new meaning to this wonderful song each time we hear it.

3) Nee Paadhi Naan Paadhi
Language: Tamil
Film: Keladi Kanmani
Singers : Yesudas K J, Uma Ramanan

Why I like it: Respect is an important aspect of love. So is the need for togetherness. In true love there is no room for ego or domination...lovers merely complement each other in talents, skills and strengths....Whenever I hear this song, I feel so thankful to have got a partner who completes me...

Santu Sings

2006-01-26T13:24:00.001-05:00

Let me introduce Santhosh (my husband) to you. Among several things about him that I am very proud of, it is his magical voice that captivates me the most.

Here's an Ayyapan song from Santu...

Ella dukhavum theerthu tharooo (Banish all my sorrow, Lord Ayyappa)

Icy Rain in NC

2005-12-15T11:05:00.000-05:00

It is raining diamond drops this morning...first icy rain this year...I am lazy to get anything done..but music beckons me...listening to Illayaraja's Andhi Mazhai Pozhigirathu (Rajaparvai, I guess..) beautiful song!

I have a pile of papers to grade...most of the students have done a great job..and I am in a good mood which obviously translates to good grades...

Good evening folks

2004-10-05T18:29:00.000-04:00

How was your day? Did someone tell you or show that you are loved? Did your special someone call you at lunch break to say that he/she misses you...........Well, its those things that keep me going....And then, ofcourse, there's music....Sangeetha Sagaram that engulfs all boredom, pain or grief....

The week has just begun and my Tuesdays are always packed. I am waiting to go home and hug Chicku and Santuma. Do you one of the days when you seem to have worked all day but not a lot is accomplished....well, today was one such day...Maybe I am being quite harsh on myself. My Prof at Purdue University once told me "Good enough, is good enough. " I argued with him then, but it makes a lot of sense now. OK. Gotta go..Bye..